The Riches All Around You

AMBER ALERT

….. I think that means a child is missing so that was probably completely inappropriate. Regretted. 

This is an alert though. 

I have come to a decision. I’ve been tossing the idea around in my head for about 6 months now and I’ve decided that I’m going to move to Dallas. 

Just kidding.

I have been tossing an idea around in my head though. Except only for 20 minutes.

Somewhere along this Tumblr journey, I’ve accidently followed really weird-o people. A lot of them. That post a lot of naked pictures (artsy naked not crazy naked…but still..naked.) and other weird stuff like Calvin and Hobbes comics and ungodly amounts of cats.

The issue that has presented itself is I’m too lazy to sort through and unfollow you crazies. (I don’t know why I’m typing like they’re reading this, none of them follow me back I’m sure.) 

The biggest issue though is that I discovered Pinterest. And my addiction to looking at pictures of Restoration Hardware ads and bath tubs is being fulfilled there. 

So, I made a new Tumblr. I don’t really know why. But you’re welcome to follow it. Because I love you. Even if you post naked pictures and too many inspirational quotes. 

Click Me OK?

Well…this is goodbye. Or something. 

I’m only writing this because I just took one dose of NyQuil and one dose of Sudafed within an hour, and Ernest Hemmingway said the best time to write is when you’re drunk…[or buzzed.] So carpe diem. 

P.S. It wasn’t on purpose that I had this overdose blessing in disguise catastrophe. I forgot I took the NyQuil. Mistakes are beautiful, everyone. 

Speaking of mistakes and medicine, I made another mistake today. And yesterday. And the day before. 

I came down with a bit of a sore throat Super Bowl Sunday, so being the responsible adult I am, I took a nice healthy dose of some generic sinus medicine. I did the same thing on Monday. And Tuesday. The weird thing was, I never felt any different. The weirder thing was, I had never seen any sort of sinus medicine that came in pink chalky tablets. The weirdest thing was, I realized just this evening that they say Gas-X on the back of them. 

…..So that’s neat. I’ve been taking bloating medication for the past 3 days. Still haven’t confronted any of the prospects who I believe could have possibly “mistakenly” put these little pink pills in my sinus medicine box, but I’ll keep you posted if the suspect (s) are found guilty. 

Anyways. 

I’ve been wondering lately, is there an organization out there that screens books before they’re allowed to be published and available to the public? If not, there needs to be. 

Parents, if you purchase this book, please take the cover off one of your Dr. James Dobson parenting books and cover this up. Your well rounded, sassy daughter does not need to see this. Also, the pink chick on the front is not even a little bit plump. Try again Dr. Gladys. 

Let’s count the things wrong with this. I’ll start:

1. Who pulled that sticker off one of Danielle Steele’s novels and stuck it on there? There ain’t no way.

2. Does every book on how to be a cougar have a full functioning sentence as a title? 

3. Is this little diddy only sold in bookstores that offer the self-check-out feature so you don’t have to face the humiliation of being relentlessly judged by your cashier? 

4.Is anyone else just the least bit curious on the “what to do” part?!? 

Alright. I think the whole buzz of my cold meds was all in my head. Maybe next time. 

Welcome to my life,

MH